I finally got an answer, what does he expect me to do. He's been my best friend for 13 years and he has now left me emotionally and physically. This might be a fad or a mid life crisis, but right now he's done with our relationship. He doesn't see the point in me waiting for him to come back. I have to move on.
Showing posts with label suicide. Show all posts
Showing posts with label suicide. Show all posts
Wednesday, 27 September 2017
Friday, 18 August 2017
6 August 2017
Well finally the ice has thawed a touch. Asides from looking into flats to rent in the area and various videos on co-parenting (Idiot even looked at the on my computer!). Daft thing is he can't even put up a united front now, how does he expect to manage whilst reliving his teenage dreams.
I was informed today that his car problems are almost fixed, yadda yadda yadda. Seriously he was out with his 'friend' and this really important call happens and now he needs to talk to me about it. Then the penny drops: the car needs taxed and a final payment and transferred insurance. Oh yeah, definitely time to talk to me. Its all in my name and paid from my bank account, time to make nice.
He even went as far as to assure me he still loves me, I almost melted. Following that up with I just need to do my own thing right now; that ensured the next three ice ages! I only replied 'okay' or 'that's fine' to all these wonderous statements. Do you know what my non aggressive behaviour got me? The reassurance that he wasn't actually sleeping with any one else.
Jesus God! I'm not sure how delusional boy blunder really is. 'God's gift to girls barely out of their teens' he isn't. Let's ignore the baggage of 3 kids and a partner, because they all seem to be able to. Looking alright for almost 40, but out of shape, drunk and skint; hardly a catch for these alcopop swigging teenage fools.
On the plus side the suicidal thoughts are gone, now I'm too bitter and angry.
I was informed today that his car problems are almost fixed, yadda yadda yadda. Seriously he was out with his 'friend' and this really important call happens and now he needs to talk to me about it. Then the penny drops: the car needs taxed and a final payment and transferred insurance. Oh yeah, definitely time to talk to me. Its all in my name and paid from my bank account, time to make nice.
He even went as far as to assure me he still loves me, I almost melted. Following that up with I just need to do my own thing right now; that ensured the next three ice ages! I only replied 'okay' or 'that's fine' to all these wonderous statements. Do you know what my non aggressive behaviour got me? The reassurance that he wasn't actually sleeping with any one else.
Jesus God! I'm not sure how delusional boy blunder really is. 'God's gift to girls barely out of their teens' he isn't. Let's ignore the baggage of 3 kids and a partner, because they all seem to be able to. Looking alright for almost 40, but out of shape, drunk and skint; hardly a catch for these alcopop swigging teenage fools.
On the plus side the suicidal thoughts are gone, now I'm too bitter and angry.
Thursday, 17 August 2017
5 August 2017
Well all quiet on the Western front, literally. Complete radio silence from him, he bought me a chocolate bar though. Lovely, shame I'm behind in every single one of the bills. At least half of which are from his purchases, and he forgot to cancel a free trial of now TV, so yeah, struggling financially right now. But hey at least he's not shouting at me and telling me my opinion is wrong.
Tuesday, 15 August 2017
4 August 2017
Sitting last night I realised I needed to grow up. Stop whining when other people have it much worse than me, and yes I know that makes it sound as if I'm in some form of abusive relationship. But we've been together a while now, and its not always plain sailing for any couple.
So I queued up the latest episode of our fave film, and looked forward to the mountain of food he always brings in from work. Somehow I'd forgotten to eat all day, but eating issues are nothing new to me and he was going to be in at 11pm anyway so it would be fine. Half 11 and I'm assuming he's given someone a lift home, while really in the back of my mind I'm stressing. Has he been in an accident, has he just decided to go out, will he be home tonight.
So I queued up the latest episode of our fave film, and looked forward to the mountain of food he always brings in from work. Somehow I'd forgotten to eat all day, but eating issues are nothing new to me and he was going to be in at 11pm anyway so it would be fine. Half 11 and I'm assuming he's given someone a lift home, while really in the back of my mind I'm stressing. Has he been in an accident, has he just decided to go out, will he be home tonight.
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