2 September 2017

A copy of the second email I never got a chance to send. Mainly because I got into 'my' car the day before my birthday for the brief 3 hours he could spare me to find Girl 1's cigarette packets strewn across my side, and he'd forgot his wallet so I was expected to pay for my Birthday lunch at the classy McDonald's. Oh yeah and he threw a huff because I mentioned my sister was a twisted S.O.B, so rallied the car home. Not a single red light appeared for me to jump out the car in anger, very disappointing. Then he laughed in my face at my anger so I retaliated with the points in here:

 Well my last email obviously missed the point. Took longer to dawn on me than it should of, you were merely placating me. 

1 September 2017

A copy of the email I sent my other half:

I've been trying to talk to you for weeks and it seems impossible without me getting over emotional or you getting loud. Yes I know I struggle to understand your perspective but you don't even seem to notice mine.

For me it started to really go to shit at the festival. Yes you've explained your needs and reasons, but you didn't seem to get how it made me feel. Humiliated in front of people I would almost call friends and the sympathy of your brother wasn't what I needed or wanted.

When you do that disappearing act with your mates they get it, so I don't get 50 questions. These guys expected different from what they knew of you. The pity of your brother reassuring me that he'd  make sure I made it home, like I was an incapable child abandoned. It hurt.

4 August 2017

Sitting last night I realised I needed to grow up. Stop whining when other people have it much worse than me, and yes I know that makes it sound as if I'm in some form of abusive relationship. But we've been together a while now, and its not always plain sailing for any couple.
So I queued up the latest episode of our fave film, and looked forward to the mountain of food he always brings in from work. Somehow I'd forgotten to eat all day, but eating issues are nothing new to me and he was going to be in at 11pm anyway so it would be fine. Half 11 and I'm assuming he's given someone a lift home, while really in the back of my mind I'm stressing. Has he been in an accident, has he just decided to go out, will he be home tonight.