3 October 2017

By the end of Monday he'd tried to cement in my head that sex means nothing to him and there fore shouldn't to me. This continued into Tuesday with the delightful addition of making it pity sex. I'm really 'emotionally unstable' and it will make me 'feel better' and he is only doing it to stop me from feeling depressed and alone. He doesn't want to see me hurting and this makes me feel better. Okay sound enough in principle, but in practice the gut wrenching guilt and increased jealousy doesn't make it easier.

2 September 2017

A copy of the second email I never got a chance to send. Mainly because I got into 'my' car the day before my birthday for the brief 3 hours he could spare me to find Girl 1's cigarette packets strewn across my side, and he'd forgot his wallet so I was expected to pay for my Birthday lunch at the classy McDonald's. Oh yeah and he threw a huff because I mentioned my sister was a twisted S.O.B, so rallied the car home. Not a single red light appeared for me to jump out the car in anger, very disappointing. Then he laughed in my face at my anger so I retaliated with the points in here:

 Well my last email obviously missed the point. Took longer to dawn on me than it should of, you were merely placating me. 

6 August 2017

Well finally the ice has thawed a touch. Asides from looking into flats to rent in the area and various videos on co-parenting (Idiot even looked at the on my computer!). Daft thing is he can't even put up a united front now, how does he expect to manage whilst reliving his teenage dreams.
I was informed today that his car problems are almost fixed, yadda yadda yadda. Seriously he was out with his 'friend' and this really important call happens and now he needs to talk to me about it. Then the penny drops: the car needs taxed and a final payment and transferred insurance. Oh yeah, definitely time to talk to me. Its all in my name and paid from my bank account, time to make nice.

He even went as far as to assure me he still loves me, I almost melted. Following that up with I just need to do my own thing right now; that ensured the next three ice ages! I only replied 'okay' or 'that's fine' to all these wonderous  statements. Do you know what my non aggressive behaviour got me? The reassurance that he wasn't actually sleeping with any one else.
Jesus God! I'm not sure how delusional boy blunder really is. 'God's gift to girls barely out of their teens' he isn't. Let's ignore the baggage of 3 kids and a partner, because they all seem to be able to. Looking alright for almost 40, but out of shape, drunk and skint; hardly a catch for these alcopop swigging teenage fools.

On the plus side the suicidal thoughts are gone, now I'm too bitter and angry.