4 October 2017

I thought this morning was awkward, well the day was just beginning. I crashed out on the bed, the cold getting the better of me. I heard him leaving to go and fix her clutch. What a joke he couldn't fix a plug in under a year and as for cars he is clueless. But off he trotted to do his new ladies bidding. I collected the kids from school, and tried on some new clothes (Depression shopping). I'm standing in my undies after taking off a new dress and I hear the close door going. Panicked look outside and her cars there, so he's back. I slam the door over and throw clothes on.

8 September 2017

Well it turns out the children had a boring night even if he didn't. They had baths, supper then bed, all rather rushed, but what can I expect if he's busy socialising. The adults had a takeaway, and according to all three kids dad slept on the couch and no one went in my room because the door stayed closed.
Whoa.. back up there, dad slept on the couch and my bedroom door was closed in the morning? So where did Girl 1 sleep? Did she leave and come back in the morning for her car?

5 September 2017

Well I scrapped the car for him, a measly £25, yup I was robbed. However if he wanted it done he should really have done it four Wednesdays ago like he stated. Tension is still riding high and the back lash of my eldest (15) quoting him to get what he wants is starting to grate a touch. "I just want a social life", You don't understand, I need to spend time with my friends." and the best one "Fuck off I don't need to tell you where I've been.". Not getting easier.

4 September 2017

I put up with it all, and spent Monday moving furniture around do that he has his chest of drawers in the living room. Apparently I was meant to get angry, slap him or shout at him, anything to justify his behaviour. The way I see it is; This is my coping mechanism, if he wants to stay here as room mates then that's fine. He has friends (as he often points out!) so he can still entertain, and I don't have to put up with them. And I have my own space to hide from them and his shite.
 He actually seems miffed that I'm dealing with it so coldly, what does he expect a pat on the f**king back. Our conversations are limited to the children's needs, I ask him if he has plans (so I can go and get wrecked somewhere and make bad mistakes), guess what he's working, he has a 21st at work he has to go to. 'Always there' seems to mean little.

3 September 2017

Wow what a roller coaster weekend, I escaped early on Friday (my 35th Birthday) to spend the day myself. I did nothing special, just pancakes and a cup of tea while I read my book and people watched. So relaxing and peaceful. Just about to get on the bus to get home in time for the kids and I check my phone 3 missed calls from him.
My happy peace shattered I call back wondering if something is wrong with the kids. Apparently I shouldn't have left town at all, where am I, why, with who? The last one confused him massively, no one should be on their own on their birthday. God sake I am a fully functional adult perfectly capable of being on my own for 3 hours! I have no friends and didn't want to listen to him moaning or telling me what he'd got up to with his friends, so sue me!

2 July 2017

Directly following on from the festival tension was clear, not helped in the slightest by a random police stop that told us we had weeks to fix our shed of a car. Needless to say we were quite snippy with each other. However the joy of our relationship has always been our ability to sweep everything under the carpet and never speak of it again.
So by Thursday we were capable of talking like normal people. The day was marred slightly by him pointing out that I was getting fat, quite pointedly, a bit harsher than the usual light-hearted joking, but I let it go. What can you really say when confronted with the truth.

1 July 2017

My partner and myself attended a festival as a kind of working holiday. This is my third year attending and his second, it was original to be my thing a space for me to be myself and relax, but apparently I made it sound too much fun for my partner to miss out on. This year a member of his family also came to work with us.