Wow what a roller coaster weekend, I escaped early on Friday (my 35th Birthday) to spend the day myself. I did nothing special, just pancakes and a cup of tea while I read my book and people watched. So relaxing and peaceful. Just about to get on the bus to get home in time for the kids and I check my phone 3 missed calls from him.
My happy peace shattered I call back wondering if something is wrong with the kids. Apparently I shouldn't have left town at all, where am I, why, with who? The last one confused him massively, no one should be on their own on their birthday. God sake I am a fully functional adult perfectly capable of being on my own for 3 hours! I have no friends and didn't want to listen to him moaning or telling me what he'd got up to with his friends, so sue me!
I do as I'm told, and watch 3 busses pass me by as I wait for him to come and collect me. Guess what, he forgot his wallet so I have to pay for the McDonald's (Happy Birthday!). Then I get the pleasure of watching him glued to his phone while we eat. I stare at him for a good couple of minutes, but he's either oblivious or ignoring me. So I return to my book and ignore him, which cues in the necessary sighs and staring at me. I put my book away, frankly fed up of it all, and gather up all the rubbish for the bin. We return home in near silence, baring the occasional comment on other peoples activities. I manage to keep my distance and avoid all of the nasty conversation until he leaves for work at 4pm.
Saturday he leaves just after I get back from work at half one, and I only see him when he comes back for a shower before work. Sunday, now Sunday was spectacular! Our son's birthday and I start work at 5am. However before I can leave he drops his bombshell.
We're over. He's breaking up with me. He doesn't love me and hasn't for a while. Gee... just what I wanna hear before an 8 hour shift smiling at the public.
He's going to keep on living here so he can contribute because living separately costs far too much. He doesn't want to leave me in the shit and wants to be there for the kids, funny he hasn't cared much so far. I must admit I shut down emotionally at this point. Can't have the local gossips seeing me in a state. I go down the cold 'that's fine' route. When I mention the finances, he gets all uptight and insinuates that's all I care about. Bullshit it's just that's all I can deal with at this time in the morning, I'm in gut wrenching agony.
He seems relieved that he's offloaded, and expects me to respond to respond to his assurances that he isn't sleeping with anyone else. Yeah that ain't happening, I have 5 mins before I leave for work and he wants me to beg him to stay or give him solace... F**k that!
He confronts me after my work, before he leaves for his alleged 'work', in full earshot of our children. This results in the birthday boy coming into the room in floods of tears, saying 'seriously not today, on my f***ing birthday'. I cut it all down there and then and say I'm not discussing it until they're at school, he takes birthday boy out in the car for a while.
God I would love to have been in on that conversation, because my boy comes back settled and calm.
Oh yeah and I've to tell people, because I'm the 'wronged party'. seriously? 'The wronged party'? No I'm the mug he's taking for a ride. Tell people, get the sympathy, he doesn't want me to do that. The secrets I know could bury him in the gossip of this bigoted town for decades.
I tell no one, he doesn't have those qualms. One of his workmates is having a birthday party, 2 weeks after my birthday and I've been invited, funny I'd never spoken more than a few words to the woman. He told her about our break up, I know she hasn't kept that to herself! But I'm still to go along, sure that's my idea of 'fun', celebrating someone else's birthday when he ruined mine and my sons!
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