2 October 2017

The next morning I'm woken up at 8am with a him standing soaking wet at the bottom of my bed, confused, angry and probably still drunk, almost crying that I'd left him. To tired to really care I went with the classic response of yup, you knew that last night. Apparently the drunk events that followed were my fault for leaving, yeah mate. I'm not your minder any more.
He got blind drunk as usual and wandered.

8 September 2017

Well it turns out the children had a boring night even if he didn't. They had baths, supper then bed, all rather rushed, but what can I expect if he's busy socialising. The adults had a takeaway, and according to all three kids dad slept on the couch and no one went in my room because the door stayed closed.
Whoa.. back up there, dad slept on the couch and my bedroom door was closed in the morning? So where did Girl 1 sleep? Did she leave and come back in the morning for her car?

7 September 2017

Well now I'm in my home town, and another 2 hours before I'm allowed to go home. Yup more walking. Without thinking my legs carry me home, I wish I'd gone elsewhere. Both his car and Girl 1's car are nestled together in the car park and my bedroom curtains are drawn. Me and the kids always use the blinds and he's the only one that ever bothers with the curtains. I really want to go to my own bed, but it looks like it would be a little crowded today.

6 September 2017

A couple of days after the last fiasco, I decide I need to be the better person. I still want him back, I want it to all go back to the way it was. I feel like I need him, I am so alone and I crave human contact. A simple hug right now would undo me.
I ask if he wants the car transferred into his name along with all the associated bills, predictable he says no because he can't afford it. He also helpfully tells me that if even if we do this I'd still have to pay the remainder of the years insurance, so I'd be paying two lots (Yeah right! I wouldn't be paying for the lot in your name!). I ignore the easy bitchy replies to that one, tougher than you would think! I also decide to offer him the chance to stay out a couple of nights when I'm not working, to try and normalise the household for the children(and me!).

4 September 2017

I put up with it all, and spent Monday moving furniture around do that he has his chest of drawers in the living room. Apparently I was meant to get angry, slap him or shout at him, anything to justify his behaviour. The way I see it is; This is my coping mechanism, if he wants to stay here as room mates then that's fine. He has friends (as he often points out!) so he can still entertain, and I don't have to put up with them. And I have my own space to hide from them and his shite.
 He actually seems miffed that I'm dealing with it so coldly, what does he expect a pat on the f**king back. Our conversations are limited to the children's needs, I ask him if he has plans (so I can go and get wrecked somewhere and make bad mistakes), guess what he's working, he has a 21st at work he has to go to. 'Always there' seems to mean little.