My partner and myself attended a festival as a kind of working holiday. This is my third year attending and his second, it was original to be my thing a space for me to be myself and relax, but apparently I made it sound too much fun for my partner to miss out on. This year a member of his family also came to work with us.
After the first day of work he'd lost his phone, obviously its easier to rant at someone you know so I got the brunt of it and he stormed off in an almighty huff to track down his phone. I tidied up and waited, there's no point wandering off, losing me would only escalate the problem. Eventually found the phone and to apologise he'd driven off to the nearest town to buy me baked goods. I ate what I could but I was still so angry my stomach was in knots, and I really didn't care in the slightest at the apology suitable for a child.
On our second day of work I watched him chatting up random strangers in front of me and his family member, also in front of the people I had become friends with over the past 3 festivals. This come under the humiliating category, but it was easy to cope telling the others that he was tipsy and he's always friendly. I felt myself growing distant from the situation as a self defence mechanism.
That night he disappeared a few times but at night having a drink around the tent, he was embarrassingly worse for wear. His family member chased him to bed to sleep it off, so he threw things about the tent and emptied an ashtray into the family members bag. General petty drunkenness, I would have left him in the chair drunkenly picking his nose and snoring, but family knows best.
After a nights sleep I expected it all to be brushed under the carpet as usual, and to be honest I was just happy he hadn't deflate my airbed. Waking up I found out from one of my fellow campers, he had gone for a shower at 7am and still hadn't returned. They were worried, as was the family member. I was left to make the normal excuses. He's wandered off, got chatting to someone, went for food.
They didn't buy the excuses and I was left looking like an idiot who didn't care. Especially when he had taken the car and I was effectively stranded 2 hours from home.
I sat there feeling sick to my stomach trying not to think of all the people he'd met, messaged and wandered off with the day before. I was left with his family member, who wouldn't buy that everything was fine, and honestly thought he was being an ass.
I didn't realise how much I missed having someone to talk to, so I opened up and told him bits and pieces. I wish I hadn't because every time I try to make a friend for me to talk to it backfires, and now I'm anxiously waiting for it to come back and haunt me. Needless to say I managed to depress the family member so much he assured me he would get me home if my partner didn't return and suggested drinking.
At about 2, seven hours after he left for a shower, we headed to the main event to try and enjoy some of the day. I got drunk and was watched over by all our group, in fact I couldn't wander off to hide or even cry like I really wanted to. Imagine my surprise when he returned, washing over where he had been all day even when the others questioned him. I didn't even ask, a nasty combination of anger and disgust, and fear at what the truth would actually be. Then my handlers became even worse, every time I tried to escape to be alone one of them was there to shepherd me back to him.
As the night went on I was sober and angry and on return to the tent, I just went to bed, simply unable to fake a smile any longer.
Food doesn't last well in an oven of a tent, especially when left under the leaky patch, so I had put it in the bin, well over baked melted biscuits and slimy doughnuts aren't really ideal. However it was taken as a personal insult when we were clearing the tent to pack up. I don't think I even cared other than to note that, yet again it was my fault.
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