Overview

My life has often appeared punctuate by events and fleeting moments that would define a normal persons personality. Thankfully I don't believe I fall under the classification of normal, therefore I will continue to blunder on. That's not to say that I am happy in my life, often I barely manage content.
I have mild mental issues, I assume mild simply because I have never deigned to actual undergo the scrutiny required to be labelled. I know my irrational problems and emotional issues cause self imposed boundaries, I also know that people rarely see the real me. The real me is carefully buried under layers of social requirements and expectations. Simulating a Chameleon I can vary my outward personality to match work scenarios, family or acquaintances.
I say acquaintances simply because over the years I have managed to distance my self from even the concept of friends. Sometimes through choice, often through poor time management, the practicalities of having a confess all, call at anytime best friend don't work with my situation and life.


Gosh this sounded so easy in practise, in truth committing myself to the unforgiving world of the internet is harder than I thought. All these fancy words when all I want to shout is that I'm a lonely suicidal, friendless loser with more inner problems than, well than anyone who isn't locked up in an asylum.

I had a rough start in childhood and puberty wasn't much to write home about, now I look around at my life and wonder if it has got better. The bright spells are shinier and there are good times as well, but I think part of my mental baggage means that I seem to highlight the bad rather than the good.

The main idea of the blog was to save money on a therapist and share my thoughts with people in a similar situation, and perhaps even help, inspire or even make friends with those like me. I figure if there are communities for every other group and type of people then perhaps there's space for me in the world.