Directly following on from the festival tension was clear, not helped in the slightest by a random police stop that told us we had weeks to fix our shed of a car. Needless to say we were quite snippy with each other. However the joy of our relationship has always been our ability to sweep everything under the carpet and never speak of it again.
So by Thursday we were capable of talking like normal people. The day was marred slightly by him pointing out that I was getting fat, quite pointedly, a bit harsher than the usual light-hearted joking, but I let it go. What can you really say when confronted with the truth.
I went to bed and left him drunk texting, mainly out of boredom at being ignored. When he woke me up with intent an hour or so after I went to bed I was more than a little excited. Without boring you with details, it was a good night of normal fun. When I woke up the next day I was in a really great mood, ready to move on and go back to normal. His phone was still blaring whatever he had went to sleep listening to so I picked it up to mute it.
Because we are such an open couple, my facebook and emails sit open on the computer and I don't care if he picks up my phone to call or message someone. I lead a boring life so there really is no point hiding anything. Personally I'm scared of breaking his daft shiny phone so I rarely bother touching it, but I am often assured that he has nothing to hide.
So I felt I had done nothing wrong, I knew when I saw a message from my sister that I shouldn't bother looking. There is serious bad blood between my family, which I apparently should forgive and make friends regardless. Like the idiot I was I looked. The activities I had enjoyed the night before came direct from her messaging, from the written words it wasn't the first time that the action and messaging had happened. In addition my fantasies were relayed to her for their amusement and were suggestions from him that he could go to hers after I was in bed and I'd never know.
I sat inches from him on the floor shaking with rage and humiliation. She knew my desires. He had acted on her fantasy with me. He had promised her to cheat behind my back. He had been drunk messaging her all night when I was trying to hold a conversation with him. She is twice my weight and he thought me fat but was fine speaking to her like that.
I put the phone down and walked out of the room. Muffling my dry heaving sobs in the kitchen, made me feel angrier and with the children in the house it was going to achieve nothing.
I couldn't decide whether to confront him or ignore it, they were his messages after all, and despite his assurances I was guessing I wasn't meant to see those. It took until Monday for me to confront him and I only did it because I felt cornered into a situation where I had to.
When I woke up on the Saturday for work (5am start time), he wasn't home. My mind obviously went into overdrive and I thought back to those messages. He did answer when I called and was at a friends house, but I have no idea if he had been there all night or just long enough for it to serve as a excuse.
Then on the Sunday night he had popped into work, and later that night magically ended up on a night out with a handful of 19-25 pretty blonde petite work colleagues and didn't return home until 2 in the morning and then it was only to take my bottle alcohol for those girls to continue their drinking. Apparently they were willing to pay for it, not that I've ever seen the money.
I know he drunk texts people when he's horny, and he felt bad that it was my sister. He hadn't realised how bad him stopping out on Saturday looked, until I pointed it out. But I had over reacted and if I had confronted him at the time he could have explained it all. He was disgusted with himself and had deleted the messages, and told her that it was never to happen again.
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